Friday, October 19, 2012

Heart full of love


8-27-12

OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS!!! I just love you all soo so  SOOOO much!!! My heart literally feels like it is going to burst.  I really want to express my love for you all but I just can´t.  Because words just can´t describe.  frustrating. haha.  But just know that I love you all.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your e-mails.  They fill my reserve for the week and give me strength to fight- don´t worry- fight for good. =)  

As we taught Arlete this week we talked about how Sergio, her son, could serve a mission.  And then I saw the fear in her as she realized that she wouldn´t be able to talk to him for 2 years and she asked us if the church was so focused on families, then why can´t missionaries call home every day or see family?  As we tried to explain that we need to focus 100% on the people we are serving, she made the point that doesn´t it help just to talk to the family for 15 minutes each day- we can still be focused but at the end of the day talk to our family and receive comfort ourselves and give comfort to them and share our experiences that we have every day.  As she was talking I was thinking ´hmmm, maybe that would help. Why can´t we talk more with our families?´ but I explained that we trust in our leaders that they receive revelation and that these rules are for the best.  That we really can´t focus on the work 100 % if we always talk with our families.  But then a thought came into my mind that i had never thought about before- We aren´t allowed to have lots of communication with our families because we need to learn to communicate with our Father in Heaven.  If we talk to our families, than we don´t talk to Him.  We need to learn to rely on Him for everything.

This week was tough- as every week on the mission is- but as always worth everything.  Maria Grassiete simplesmente decided she didn´t want the church anymore.  That life is good now and she doesn´t need help anymore.  It was heartbreaking.  We did everything we could, but she lost her desire and didn´t want it back.  triste.  But we had lots of amazing lessons.  We are teaching a women named Alexandra- don’t remember if I already talked about her, but she was a drug addict and prostitute but she is totally changing her life around.  She is truly incredible.  It is amazing to see the Atonement of Jesus Christ touch her life.  Her desires and actions have changed.  She is off drugs now and she is reading the Book of Mormon like crazy!  She takes notes of the scriptures we read in the lessons and she is so positive even though lots of things in her life right now are super hard.  What an incredible example of faith and desire and repentance.  

Yesterday was super hard and me and my comp. were really sad.  We had plans to do a division because we had so many people planning on coming to church.  But in the end no one came.  It was awful.  And our baptism fell through and it was just knives being twisted in our hearts.  But I received a call last night from the Irmãs in Odivelas- my first area.  Two sisters who I love dearly and who are incredible missionaries.  They asked me if I remembered a woman named Fatima.  I didn´t, but I looked in my old agenda and asked if it was maria fatima fernandes.  And she said yes and that she was baptized yesterday!!!!  Me and Irmã Dos Santos ran after this woman to talk to her and we prayed with her on the street and felt so good about her but we could never talk to her because she didn´t have time or something or other.  But she was baptized!  And Irmã Baer said it was all me- but clearly it was not.  But she showed up in church one day and has just thrived and was baptized!  And Carlos one of my recent converts is preparing for the temple!  And I wrote a note for Irmã bear before I left Odivelas telling her to baptize Antonio and she did!  Antonio was another person I felt SO strongly to talk to on the bus and he was progressing so well before I left.  SO MUCH JOY FILLED MY SOUL!!!!  I am so grateful for that phone call- that tender mercy that I am following the spirit and making a difference.  This is such a privilege to serve a mission and be a part of people´s lives- and help them come Unto Christ.  We really don´t do anything but follow the spirit- and do the Father´s will.

A talk in general conference said something like we need to start being the book of mormon- actually following the example.  I heard something like this this week and loved it:  we need to serve like Ammon, be humble like Abinadi, be courageous like Samuel, have faith like Nephi, pray like Enos, lead like King Benjamin, fight against evil like Captain Moroni, and love like the Savior.

An interesting thought that another missionary shared with me was about the different missions in the world.  That each has its one flavor.  That we all learn to come unto Christ but there seems to be an overlaying theme for each mission and each part of the world.  In Brazil there are lots of humble people ready to hear the gospel- you could baptize 500 people if you wanted (I know it is not true in all areas, but these are general assumptions) but you learn to love and be good parents.  In the States, you learn to be a Preach My Gospel Missionary (again we all learn to be PMG missionaries, but it is hard to describe- but this is true of the states) and you learn obedience.  In Portugal and prob. other parts of Europe, it is super hard to find and baptize so you learn to follow the spirit and are trained to be leaders.  Each of us have things we need to learn- each of us have our own mission.  And we are put in situations to help us learn these things.  I am so grateful to be here in my mission.  I know this is where Heavenly Father wants me.  I love my mission. I love serving the Lord and am so grateful for the joy I receive.  I love you all so much!!! Read the Book of Mormon.  I know it is true.  LOVE YOU LOV EYOU LOVE YOU!!!!
HURRAH FOR ISRAEL!!!
Irmã Tingey

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